When I was in another life, I wrote this blog. I came across it recently, had forgotten all about it. It was about 4 years ago that I wrote it, and while my opinion on some things have changed, some of my opinions have not. It's interesting to see where one's mindset was years previous. I hope you enjoy the read, and feel free to comment. Remember, this was me about 4 years ago... :)
About a year ago, I was feeling a little down and out about my art. I looked around at other sites where artists were doing what they loved, and were making a living at it and thought, c’mon, now, Carri, isn’t that exactly what you said you were going to do? One of the sites I looked at was so very inspirational to me- the things that the artist said truly moved me and made me think- I need to stop feeling sorry for myself and just do it already. So I broke out the paints and the paper, and put on my creative cap and started to it. ....very, very slowly. It’s amazing how you don’t need to look further than the image in the mirror to know that that is truly the only person holding you back from what you are born to do. It’s very easy to let the creepy little voice whisper in its gravelly, hushed voice, “What are you doing? Nobody’s interested...” and etc, etc. People defeat themselves much easier than they give themselves credit for- just look at all the people out there who are doing jobs that they hate, but do it anyway because it pays the bills and doesn’t ask more out of them than they feel they want to handle. That’s not knocking the everyday person, either- people bust their keesters everyday and in the economy, the way it is today, if you are lucky enough to have a job that pays the bills, you keep it.
But I really thought about it. I could blame my parents, my husband, people I knew and didn’t know, situations and circumstances and whatnot but what it truly comes down to, what really matters is, what am I doing about what I want out of life anyway? Does it truly have to be all or nothing right now? If I can’t work for that big animation company in the sky, or be the one who designs those costumes for Broadway or the movies, does that mean that I may as well just pack it in and stop drawing? Of course not! The fact is that I love art so much that I feel at times I could do anything and everything that has to do with it- but no one person can do everything (or can they? Who am I to say no?...). So for me, I found my niche. It took a bit of time, it’s always been lurking, but in this last year I have found what makes me happy. Painting what I paint, doing the kind of art that I love, that’s what I want to do. The plus side is that I can work at my own pace and not have to answer to a higher up- liking that!
Last week, I turned the big 3-0. Thirty years old. I can’t believe it! I still feel like a kid in so many ways, in so much as I want to have fun with my work, be excited about what I present, learn new things and get involved so that the whole world can see what I have to offer. I don’t feel tired that I haven’t hit the big time yet- most people don’t hit their stride until their mid-late forties. Which means I have about 15 years before I can fold like a towel. Although I won’t. I won’t ever stop creating, painting, drawing. I want to keep on learning, I want to learn how to do stained glass, I want to focus on what I learned in college about sculpting and stay fresh with that, I want to do it all. Have I mentioned that before?
I talk to a lot of other artists on the web and someone raised a very good point which I have found to be relevant to the kind of art I do. Unless your name is Boris Vallejo or Julie Bell, the idea of people doing fantasy art is silly and will get you nowhere. That’s not “real” art. So what is “real” art? Smearing fecal matter on the virgin Mary? Throwing blobs of mixed colors on a canvas in an attempt to relate the insecurities of the soul in a time of chaos? What I paint is just as real to me and my heart as anyone else who is truly an artist, (although, as far as I’m concerned, the jury’s out on the virgin mary/poo painting thing. Yuck. Does that make me a hypocrite? hope not.) And when I create what is in my heart, I am truly happy, and truly expressing myself as I want to. As an artist who paints whimsical, fantastical creatures that maybe do, maybe don’t exist. I don’t truly know. There’s a lot I don’t really know, but I do know that to deny what I feel in my heart is the right way for me to express myself artistically, is just silly. I was never really one who followed the “in” crowd- why start now with Art-something I feel so strongly about?
In the Quad Cities, where I live, there will be a new museum opening in August. It will be called the Figge Arts Museum, and it will be in the downtown area, a place that for the last 20ish years has been a pit. Recently, in the last few years, things have begun to stir in this sleepy corner of town. Riverboat Gambling has picked up, a hotel was built, old buildings have been renovated to make way for artists who need workspace and performance space, restaurants have been built, it’s really been coming along. Now, with the museum, it stands to be something really fine. I grew up in Davenport, right across the river in Iowa, and when I first heard of this museum being moved from atop the hill on Museum Hill (which also hosts a separate museum, the Putnam, and now an IMAX theater) to right off the edge of the river, I thought, have these people lost their stinkin’ minds????? It’s goanna get flooded!!! But they of course found a way to combat the likelihood of the river overflowing (as it does almost every spring) and hopefully time will tell in the way that I hope- that all will be well. The wonderful thing about this new museum is- that it is so much bigger on the inside than the old one, whereas only 1% (yes, I said that correctly) of the work was able to be shown before, now it appears that all work will be shown to the public.
The very, very sad thing is that city council members are suddenly very interested in how much each and every piece contained in the new museum will be worth, and want to post that information to the public, as the council feels it is the civic duty to disclose that information since the city (through the taxpayers) paid for a portion of the costs to build the new facility. And even though Christie’s Auction house came and determined the overall cost of the collection, the city wants to know the individual cost of each piece. And all I have to say is, where was this great concern when the museum was only able to show off 1% of their paintings, and for the last 20 years many of these pieces were sitting in the basement of the building??? I remember walking through those areas as a kid, seeing works sitting against the wall, thinking “shouldn’t that be hanging up somewhere?” Where was their great concern about the almighty dollar bill making its rounds in the city when they allowed the school board to close two elementary schools 2 years back and there weren’t any answers as to why the school system was millions of dollars in debt. No one had to account for each dollar bill spent there. Taxpayers pay for their kids to go to public schools.
But they’re expecting that because taxpayers are footing a portion of the bill for the museum, that gives the public the right to know the “value” of each and every painting? A local columnist brought something up that I hadn’t thought of... could it be possible that the City would say, well, we’re coming up short this month, how bout we sell off one of those paintings from the museum to cover the costs? Wow. I’m not sure what to think about that. I do know criminals read the newspapers just as easily as the average Joe. or Jane. or whoever. I know that a few months ago, some armed robbers busted into the Art Museum in Olso, Norway and stole a version of original painting by Edvard Munch entitled “The Scream”- his most famous painting- even if people don’t know that painting off the top of their heads, they know it when they see it- it’s been highly commercialized the past year. Some others also made off with another of his famous ones, the Madonna in the same day. It's so valuable it’s invaluable; when art gets to that level, it’s hard to put a price tag on it.
So what’s the price tag on the art that is to be hung in Davenport? Is it worth the cost of extra, possibly armed security to keep the drooling hounds at bay? Is it really all that important to know? Why do we NEED to know? I don’t think we do. I don’t feel that our lives as citizens will be affected one way or the other by not knowing. Art is a funny and arbitrary thing. It’s difficult to put a price tag on it. It’s worth to one person whatever what that person is willing to pay for it. I guess...
all right. enough ranting for today.
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thanks, but no thanks. No piggy flu for this chickie. (and yes, I know it's not the piggy's fault.)
